I was truly upset without Bor in 2017. She
was a part of my life since I was in my early teen, and I always set traveling rules for her.
I wouldn’t allow myself to be away for more than 6 days because taking care of
her was my responsibility not someone else’s. Even though I took her to the vet
regularly, I blamed myself for not being able to save her. She had X-rays taken
a few days before she passed. I was told she had signs of asthma and no med was
prescribed. I had her stay in the oxygen box for a few hours when her condition
worsened a few days later. When I went back to the animal hospital to check on
her a few hours later, she had lost her ability to control her bladder and had
urinated all over herself. Her nose had clear liquid and she was not cleaned up
by anyone. It broke my heart because I felt so useless as her mother. I wiped
her face as soon as I saw her and held her in my arms. The scent of my urine
was also very strong and the vet had explained to me why, but it really didn’t
bother me at all at that point. I wish she was still here.... nothing tangible
filled in that hole in my heart.
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